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33 Love Thoughts – 3 – Resilience and Courage

By Christine Miller Leave a Comment

These are undoubtedly challenging times on every level, global, national, and personal. We are all making changes in our daily lives. Our world is shifting in dramatic and sometimes alarming ways. We need courage and resilience. 

We need to hold together, even if we can’t physically be together, and, importantly,  hold ourselves together.

Strong, courageous and resilient. 

And who knew that the great simple advice from our mothers, others and teachers to wash our hands, might ultimately prove life-saving?

Day 3: Love can be tough and demanding; it demands resilience and courage.

Practice: Imagine a time when you are finding the behaviour of another challenging, and consider how that experience would be different if you thought of that person or situation in a loving way.

This doesn’t mean condoning bad behaviour, but valuing and accepting the person for who they are whilst courageously being open towards them about their behaviour and its effects.

The important things are to be flexible. Avoid blame and shame.  Be compassionate and thoughtful, and mindful of those less robust than ourselves.

It’s easy to love people when they are behaving in ways we regard as ‘good’ and ‘well’. It’s not so simple to love people when they are not conforming to our ideas of ‘good’ behaviour.

We need to stay in calm and resourceful states to the greatest extent possible. (Check my Resourceful State site for support with this.)

And that’s the true test; the test of Real Love. Big Love. Love at Work. 

Inviting Love

By Christine Miller Leave a Comment

Inviting Love The Three Old Men

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard.

She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?” they asked.
“No”, she replied. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.

The Husband Returns

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am home and invite them in!”
The woman went out and invited the men in. “We do not go into a House together,” they replied.
“Why is that?” she asked.

One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends,
and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.”
Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

Wealth Success and Love

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.
Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!!” he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”
His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

Choosing the Guest

“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”
The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”
Love got up and started walking toward the house.
The other two also got up and followed him.

Which Comes First

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?”

The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.”

“Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success”

The Future and the Seventh Generation Principles

By Christine Miller Leave a Comment

Dramatic Horizons – Better Futures

Decisions for All Our Tomorrows

     Momentous decisions are being taken in many parts of the world at this time, from my own homeland the (dis)United Kingdom, to Iran, to Iraq, to Spain, to Lebanon, to Canada and the USA. The actions resulting from these decisions, and the future results, how today is affecting all our tomorrows are to a great extent unknown. Democracy is threatened. Riots and protests are happening globally.

     There is heightened awareness of our tenuous hold on life itself. There is outrage at rampant fires, fear of destruction and war. Rash decisions and actions. Peaceful demonstrations in the UK turn to violence, unrest and outright rebellion in Spain, Hong Kong, Bolivia, for example, indicate that the people are unhappy with this apparent disregard of rights, of humanity, of hard won freedoms.

The long term effects of massive change

     Little time or attention seems to be given to the long term effects of massive change which impacts on millions of lives. Many of us in our more mature years are concerned about the legacy for future generations, because it is hard to see how, in the longer term, life for these future generations is being affected. It’s disturbing and disheartening. Motivations seem to come from self-interest, fear and greed rather than from altruism, love and generosity.

     It can be challenging to extrapolate decisions, the changes which are implemented now, into the distant future. It is possible, though, and rather than the short-term, selfish modus operandi where instant gratification and protection of the status quo provide impetus, we can look to adopt a different philosophy and set of principles.

Seventh Generation Principles

     I speak here of an ancient way, the Seventh Generation Principles. Indigenous peoples all over the world have had a version of this philosophy in place for many years. The Native Indians have had such a charter in place for over a thousand years. Every decision is made through the lens of what might happen seven generations into the future.

It says that in every decision, be it personal, governmental or corporate, we must consider how it will affect our descendants seven generations into the future. For me, this is hope, love, commitment, sustainability and truth. 

Scrutinising New Inventions

 A generation in our current society is considered to be 25 years, so the idea would be to project 175 years into the future . Then imagine the possible effects of our current actions. All new inventions, even if they appear benign, need to be scrutinised, amplified, even exaggerated to or beyond their ultimate capacity, so we can envision if they are fostering well being or inducing catastrophe.

 This raises questions such as:

  • How do we prevent basic human values and principles being undermined and ignored?
  • Is isolationism as opposed to collectivity and unity going to ensure stability?
  • How do we collaborate to preserve peace and prevent war?
  • Can food sovereignty be maintained?
  • If the population continues to grow rapidly can our planet support all its beings?
  • Can current environmental conditions be sustained?

Good Intentions Gone Wild

     As an example, when Henry Ford developed the internal combustion engine and introduced the motor car, one of his good intentions was enabling people who lived distant from their families to be able to visit them more regularly and quickly. Whether he ever imagined the widespread global use of cars and the resultant need for petrol, or the pollution and overcrowding is unlikely. But it probably wasn’t his intention to create the environmental and social effects that rapid expansion has brought to the world. The same applies to the Wright Brothers, for whom the idea of over 16,000 aeroplanes in the sky at any given moment around the world might have seemed impossible. (See https://www.flightradar24.com)

     All our good ideas and inventions can be dazzling and appear advantageous. However, in the longer term, maybe they are too risky and detrimental to humanity, unless they are carefully managed.

     A change in the way we make decisions and govern ourselves is vital, we urgently need to take a benevolent, loving and respectful perspective. Recently, in the UK, a bill made its way through parliament – no, not the Brexit Withdrawal, though that too is being subjected to exactly the kind of mindless, uncaring, dangerous decision making I have already mentioned.

THIS is a bill for Tomorrow, for tomorrow’s generations, the Future Generations Bill. It’s called ‘Today for Tomorrow’ and it deserves all our support. 

     I leave you with the words of a Shaman, Angaangaq, an ambassador for the Innikut tribe, who I met at the Spirit Of Humanity Conference in Reykjavik a few years ago; his concerns then about the whole world, not only the shrinking ice in his homeland Greenland, were great.

In the earlier times in my world, it was women who made decisions and the task of men was to implement these decisions. For us, it was equality.

When the beauty of grandmothers returns, then our society will change. My prayer is that the women will be willing
to take over this responsibility again.

Learn to make decisions with
long terms considerations in mind at
The Power of Love at Work 

Why Be a Beacon of Light

By Christine Miller Leave a Comment

Light Circle - Beacon of Light Christine Miller

Timeless Truths and Leading Lights

I am exploring what it means to be a leader who, by their own light, the power of their inner and outer purpose and conviction, assists and guides with their presence.  Leaders with a purpose and core values who are an inspiring and supportive beacon of light. Leaders who encourage their people to be innovative, creative and confident in performing their role in the organisation.

Potent Energy and Strength

A leader whose energy is potent enough to serve as an anchor, and a reliable source of strength to their followers. And at the same time, someone whose presence is in service to their people, with humility and acceptance, not arrogance and assumptions of superiority.

Such leaders create the conditions in which their people grow and flourish, and their organisations prosper with greater ease.

Love at Work

In the course of my research on Love at Work, I have been privileged to meet and converse with leaders like this, people who inspire loyalty and respect, and offer those qualities in return to their people.

In Service to Their People

Their success is most often  based on being in service to their people. Whilst they take a firm stance as leader, they acknowledge that the opinions and concerns of those they lead are valid, and they listen deeply, and act accordingly. They are unafraid of admitting to mistakes, and eager to celebrate the contributions and successes of others, as well as acknowledging tough times when life presents its inevitable trials and difficulties.

Two Glowing Examples

Sir Cary Cooper

For a (pardon the pun) glowing example, let me mention Sir Cary Cooper, CBE, Professor of Organisational Psychology at Manchester University. At the time we had our conversation about Love in the Boardroom, Cary was a Distinguished Professor at Lancaster University, and also Pro Vice Chancellor. If you go to his Wikipedia page link,  you can see his extensive awards and accolades in a successful career dedicated to improving the workplace for many people.

One of the questions I asked was what Love, in a business context, means to Sir Cary Cooper. I had previously asked him what love meant to him in his life generally. This is his response:

In a business context … It would mean to me that even if I made a mistake or did something wrong, they would be there for me, and the same for me to them.  It’s really the same thing, in a business context, it’s total acceptance of me, even with my faults.  And that the people I really care about and who care about me would be there for me if something went wrong, if something really went wrong I know they would be there.

Carol Wilson

Another exemplar of this approach is from Carol Wilson, Founder and CEO of Culture at Work and Performance Coach Training, former MD at Virgin, where she was the first woman in the world to found a chart-topping record label, Dindisc. Carol has worked as a coach, trainer and consultant since 2000. Previously she spent 25 years as a corporate MD and board director, which has given her a unique understanding of the pressures faced by managers working in large organizations.

So for me it’s loving developing other people.  When I really feel that I’m expressing love for people in a business context, I’m enabling them to light up and grow. My passion is to go in and teach managers foundation coaching skills, never mind all the fancy advanced stuff. 

I love doing that because it’s life changing, and it gives them permission to start loving themselves and loving other people, and treating each other with kindness and respect.  And to see that happening in the room, it’s just wonderful. 

So that to me is how I express love in a business sense these days.  I also express love by sometimes giving things away for nothing.  Like we almost always have scholarship places on the open courses that we run.  Anybody who needs it, maybe someone has had a really hard time because their partner has left them and they’ve been left destitute or something, or to someone who’s been in prison. 

It’s lovely having the open course  we deliver, because when a deserving case comes along I put them on it, because it gives them life skills which will help them get through the trauma.

Hundreds of Leaders

These are just two examples of the numerous responses I have gathered from hundreds of leaders and people who lead by example, shining out their valuable and illuminating ways of being a loving and caring beacon of light.

Those who operate from fine inner values and service to others seem to experience life in a keener, more fulfilling way, and for our world to evolve and transform to a more loving and caring, kind and respectful place, we need many more to join the re-volution to Love, and develop their ‘LQ’ – the IQ of Love in Leadership. 

Come and find out more at our
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The Great Heart-Warming

https://youtu.be/NEsUPQOo1kY

Absolute Love

https://loveintheboardroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/what-does-it-mean-to-love-absolutely.mp4

This Love Stuff Really Works

https://loveintheboardroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/this-love-stuff-really-works-11.mp4

Recent Love Stories

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  • 33 Love Thoughts – 4 – Care, Compassion and Absolute Love

Recent Posts

33 Love Thoughts – 2 Absolute Love

March 11, 2020 By Christine Miller 2 Comments

In these times of fear and uncertainty, these simple suggestions and moments of contemplation  can help bring you and our world greater peace, health and Love. It starts with you. Your can build your inner peace and strength day by day to help your resilience, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Day 2. Love at Work […]

33 Love Thoughts on Love at Work

March 10, 2020 By Christine Miller Leave a Comment

“Love at Work  – 33 Love Thoughts” This series of 33 Love thoughts and practices on Love at Work emerges from a workshop I took part in at Warwick University, UK. The participants were psychologists, therapists  and organisational development consultants who are also writers, and it was about the benefits of using reflective writing. We […]

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