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Exploring Success

What Does Success Mean to You?

Could it be having more of something, being better at something or doing a great deed?

And is it making the most of every moment, living well, persisting, and learning to accept yourself, your humanity, fully, as you are – whilst keeping open to possibilities of becoming even more?

Exploring Success:
From Outer Space to Inner Vision

“Well we’re going to space. Today is an historic day – for it will bring the dream of space travel for many millions closer to reality.”

On September 27^th 2004, Richard Branson announced his Virgin Galactic venture,
“with a sole purpose of making space travel more and more affordable to people throughout the world … Those privileged space pioneers who can afford to take our first flights will not only have the most awesome experience of their lives, but by stepping up to the plate first will bring the dream of space travel for many millions closer to reality … Like so many others, for years I have dreamt of seeing the beauty of our planet from space, experiencing true weightlessness and fully appreciating for the first time that our tiny planet is part of something so much bigger.”

Richard Branson would experience the successful fulfillment of a goal, a dream, when he stepped onto that first flight as an astronaut. For him, it could be another manifestation of his success in creating the life he wants. It’s now 2023, and Branson has persisted, in spite of difficulties, overcoming setbacks which might be described as ‘failures’ in order to achieve his vision and the end result of success with his project.

On 29 June 2023, Virgin Galactic launched its first commercial space flight successfully. Almost 20 years in coming to fruition as it was originally intended.

The privilege of exploring space on one of these first 15 minute long flights, at a cost of $250,000, is an indicator of the material wealth of the 6 participants, (apparently including Leonardo de Caprio and Justin Bieber) and the success which is traditionally implied from being wealthy. Money and possessions are assuredly one measure of success in our world, though not everyone attaches the same value to external manifestations of wealth.

So What is Success, Really?

There are many unhappy, discontented rich people; we see and hear about their traumas regularly on TV and in the press. They get to be miserable in comfort, and to buy distractions from their inner turmoil, but they never seem to have enough.

So, are they truly successful?

There are also many unhappy poor people, for whom the temporary escapism of retail therapy and the comfort and external signs of material success are not available. Are they therefore unsuccessful? And there are plenty of poor, struggling, just-coping, middling and comfortably-off people who are leading lives that fulfill them, most of the time.

Are they successful?

We know intellectually that material wealth is not a true indicator of success, and that physical health and spiritual and emotional riches are ultimately of greater importance in living a balanced life than are external shows of financial worth. However, there are values attached to material wealth that underpin society’s perceptions, and power and influence still undoubtedly accrue to those with money – whether their lives are successfully in balance or not.

Defining Success

Perhaps we can define success as reaching a goal, fulfilling an intention or purpose. In which case, you are successful on a moment-by moment basis, because in the normal run of things, your body and brain work together constantly to ensure that you stay alive. Constantly correcting and adjusting, altering pressure, balance, intake and output, the sophisticated system automatically works harmoniously to ensure survival and is, when fully-functioning, the ultimate goal-orientated success mechanism. Your drives and urges when correctly directed and interpreted, lead unremittingly to your continued existence – and that of the species. If you have given up smoking , or are on a healthy eating programme, for example, then each cigarette or calorie laden morsel you refuse is evidence of your success – ongoing proof that you are able to succeed. Translated into your conscious awareness this gives you a powerful “success memory” and serves to support you if you are tempted.

Misdirection

It’s when the drives are misdirected and the “wiring” misroutes that the system can begin to malfunction. Because you have a response mechanism that does exactly and literally what it is told, sometimes the messages get scrambled, and although acting for your ultimate wellbeing and safety, the misrouting causes you to act in ways that end up sabotaging your perfect system rather than enhancing your wellbeing. This is why uncovering your silent saboteurs can be a key step in achieving success, if it is an elusive element in your life.

What do you really want?

Success also results from identifying something (or many things) you really want in your life, which you believe are missing, and taking the steps to attain and achieve those things. Looking within, and being honest with yourself about what you can improve in your life, then setting your own agenda and taking action to make the necessary changes. Being and becoming more conscious of your choices, and making definite moves to bring them about, whether it’s to own a home, to learn to meditate or to have a close loving relationship.

So whilst it may be a remarkable and exciting prospect to be one of the first space tourists, it doesn’t necessarily follow that those able to take up the offer will be living successful lives in the fullest sense. Only if they are also on the journey through their own inner space, as well as the journey towards outer space, will they truly be experiencing success.

Exploring Success – The Inner Space

“Success” – a perfect life, that indefinable quality of “total happiness” – is sometimes peddled as an absolute right for everyone. Offered as the assured outcome of whichever psychology, personal or business development ideas are most prominent at the time. Expectations run high that if you read the right books, listen to the right Podcasts, CDs, watch the right videos, and attend the right seminars then your life will be filled with miraculous and easily achieved success, endless sunshine, health, sex and wonderfully fulfilling relationships.

The Unexpected Disturbances

Hmm, okay, so you’ve followed the plan, and invested in the programme, both emotionally and financially – yet sometimes you still find yourself feeling inexplicably down or lonely, you still get angry and shout at the kids, have rows with your spouse, don’t get the raise you want or feel as if there’s something missing.
You can be progressing in so many areas of your life, when a disturbance arrives unannounced.

These disturbances seem to hit you like an unexpected UFO from outer space, a swift flashing comet undetected until it breaks through the atmosphere of your life with resounding effect, leaving you wondering what else you can do.

Why do these eruptions happen, why do you feel such strong emotions which don’t feature on that “A” list that’s deemed to make up the perfect life? And where’s the braking parachute to assist you to a gentler landing?

Well, stop and think for a moment. Right now, what is it you have in common with everyone else on the planet?

Might it be your humanity? Is it simply that you’re not meant to be ‘perfect’? That you’re a human being, a human becoming….a paradox of being perfectly imperfect.

And what’s more, it really is okay; you have permission to be flawed. “Success” doesn’t equal “perfection”. Those emotions that surface are normal, and natural and human. They are also necessary.

This doesn’t mean you have an excuse to stop growing, perpetuate your less than constructive habits of thought and action, and allow rampant negativity to rule your life. It does mean that you have the opportunity to learn a little about how you can regulate the pressure to be perfect, and allow the blips of life to slide in and out more elegantly, rather than exploding in chaos.

What Next

In the next installment of this article on Success, we look at those unexpected emotional events that can throw us off course, and explore how to manage them and achieve greater serenity and the inner wealth of making calm and wise choices.

Finding Success in Failure

Inviting Love

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The Three Old Men

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard.

She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?” they asked.
“No”, she replied. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.

The Husband Returns

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am home and invite them in!”
The woman went out and invited the men in. “We do not go into a House together,” they replied.
“Why is that?” she asked.

One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends,
and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.”
Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

Wealth Success and Love

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.
Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!!” he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”
His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

Choosing the Guest

“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”
The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”
Love got up and started walking toward the house.
The other two also got up and followed him.

Which Comes First

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?”

The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.”

“Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success”

The Future and the Seventh Generation Principles

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Decisions for All Our Tomorrows

Momentous decisions are being taken in many parts of the world at this time, from my own homeland the (dis)United Kingdom, to Iran, to Iraq, to Spain, to Lebanon, to Canada and the USA. The actions resulting from these decisions, and the future results, how today is affecting all our tomorrows are to a great extent unknown. Democracy is threatened. Riots and protests are happening globally.

There is heightened awareness of our tenuous hold on life itself. There is outrage at rampant fires, fear of destruction and war. Rash decisions and actions. Peaceful demonstrations in the UK turn to violence, unrest and outright rebellion in Spain, Hong Kong, Bolivia, for example, indicate that the people are unhappy with this apparent disregard of rights, of humanity, of hard won freedoms.

The long term effects of massive change

Little time or attention seems to be given to the long term effects of massive change which impacts on millions of lives. Many of us in our more mature years are concerned about the legacy for future generations, because it is hard to see how, in the longer term, life for these future generations is being affected. It’s disturbing and disheartening. Motivations seem to come from self-interest, fear and greed rather than from altruism, love and generosity.

It can be challenging to extrapolate decisions, the changes which are implemented now, into the distant future. It is possible, though, and rather than the short-term, selfish modus operandi where instant gratification and protection of the status quo provide impetus, we can look to adopt a different philosophy and set of principles.

Seventh Generation Principles

I speak here of an ancient way, the Seventh Generation Principles. Indigenous peoples all over the world have had a version of this philosophy in place for many years. The Native Indians have had such a charter in place for over a thousand years. Every decision is made through the lens of what might happen seven generations into the future.

It says that in every decision, be it personal, governmental or corporate, we must consider how it will affect our descendants seven generations into the future. For me, this is hope, love, commitment, sustainability and truth.

Scrutinising New Inventions

A generation in our current society is considered to be 25 years, so the idea would be to project 175 years into the future . Then imagine the possible effects of our current actions. All new inventions, even if they appear benign, need to be scrutinised, amplified, even exaggerated to or beyond their ultimate capacity, so we can envision if they are fostering well being or inducing catastrophe.

This raises questions such as:

How do we prevent basic human values and principles being undermined and ignored?
Is isolationism as opposed to collectivity and unity going to ensure stability?
How do we collaborate to preserve peace and prevent war?
Can food sovereignty be maintained?
If the population continues to grow rapidly can our planet support all its beings?
Can current environmental conditions be sustained?

Good Intentions Gone Wild

As an example, when Henry Ford developed the internal combustion engine and introduced the motor car, one of his good intentions was enabling people who lived distant from their families to be able to visit them more regularly and quickly. Whether he ever imagined the widespread global use of cars and the resultant need for petrol, or the pollution and overcrowding is unlikely. But it probably wasn’t his intention to create the environmental and social effects that rapid expansion has brought to the world. The same applies to the Wright Brothers, for whom the idea of over 16,000 aeroplanes in the sky at any given moment around the world might have seemed impossible. (See https://www.flightradar24.com)

All our good ideas and inventions can be dazzling and appear advantageous. However, in the longer term, maybe they are too risky and detrimental to humanity, unless they are carefully managed.

A change in the way we make decisions and govern ourselves is vital, we urgently need to take a benevolent, loving and respectful perspective. Recently, in the UK, a bill made its way through parliament – no, not the Brexit Withdrawal, though that too is being subjected to exactly the kind of mindless, uncaring, dangerous decision making I have already mentioned.

THIS is a bill for Tomorrow, for tomorrow’s generations, the Future Generations Bill. It’s called ‘Today for Tomorrow’ and it deserves all our support.

I leave you with the words of a Shaman, Angaangaq, an ambassador for the Innikut tribe, who I met at the Spirit Of Humanity Conference in Reykjavik a few years ago; his concerns then about the whole world, not only the shrinking ice in his homeland Greenland, were great.

In the earlier times in my world, it was women who made decisions and the task of men was to implement these decisions. For us, it was equality.
When the beauty of grandmothers returns, then our society will change. My prayer is that the women will be willing
to take over this responsibility again.

Learn to make decisions with
long terms considerations in mind at
The Power of Love at Work

Why Be a Beacon of Light

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Timeless Truths and Leading Lights

I am exploring what it means to be a leader who, by their own light, the power of their inner and outer purpose and conviction, assists and guides with their presence. Leaders with a purpose and core values who are an inspiring and supportive beacon of light. Leaders who encourage their people to be innovative, creative and confident in performing their role in the organisation.

Potent Energy and Strength

A leader whose energy is potent enough to serve as an anchor, and a reliable source of strength to their followers. And at the same time, someone whose presence is in service to their people, with humility and acceptance, not arrogance and assumptions of superiority.

Such leaders create the conditions in which their people grow and flourish, and their organisations prosper with greater ease.

Love at Work

In the course of my research on Love at Work, I have been privileged to meet and converse with leaders like this, people who inspire loyalty and respect, and offer those qualities in return to their people.

In Service to Their People

Their success is most often based on being in service to their people. Whilst they take a firm stance as leader, they acknowledge that the opinions and concerns of those they lead are valid, and they listen deeply, and act accordingly. They are unafraid of admitting to mistakes, and eager to celebrate the contributions and successes of others, as well as acknowledging tough times when life presents its inevitable trials and difficulties.

Two Glowing Examples

Sir Cary Cooper

For a (pardon the pun) glowing example, let me mention Sir Cary Cooper, CBE, Professor of Organisational Psychology at Manchester University. At the time we had our conversation about Love in the Boardroom, Cary was a Distinguished Professor at Lancaster University, and also Pro Vice Chancellor. If you go to his Wikipedia page link, you can see his extensive awards and accolades in a successful career dedicated to improving the workplace for many people.

One of the questions I asked was what Love, in a business context, means to Sir Cary Cooper. I had previously asked him what love meant to him in his life generally. This is his response:

In a business context … It would mean to me that even if I made a mistake or did something wrong, they would be there for me, and the same for me to them. It’s really the same thing, in a business context, it’s total acceptance of me, even with my faults. And that the people I really care about and who care about me would be there for me if something went wrong, if something really went wrong I know they would be there.

Carol Wilson

Another exemplar of this approach is from Carol Wilson, Founder and CEO of Culture at Work and Performance Coach Training, former MD at Virgin, where she was the first woman in the world to found a chart-topping record label, Dindisc. Carol has worked as a coach, trainer and consultant since 2000. Previously she spent 25 years as a corporate MD and board director, which has given her a unique understanding of the pressures faced by managers working in large organizations.

So for me it’s loving developing other people. When I really feel that I’m expressing love for people in a business context, I’m enabling them to light up and grow. My passion is to go in and teach managers foundation coaching skills, never mind all the fancy advanced stuff.
I love doing that because it’s life changing, and it gives them permission to start loving themselves and loving other people, and treating each other with kindness and respect. And to see that happening in the room, it’s just wonderful.
So that to me is how I express love in a business sense these days. I also express love by sometimes giving things away for nothing. Like we almost always have scholarship places on the open courses that we run. Anybody who needs it, maybe someone has had a really hard time because their partner has left them and they’ve been left destitute or something, or to someone who’s been in prison.
It’s lovely having the open course we deliver, because when a deserving case comes along I put them on it, because it gives them life skills which will help them get through the trauma.

Hundreds of Leaders

These are just two examples of the numerous responses I have gathered from hundreds of leaders and people who lead by example, shining out their valuable and illuminating ways of being a loving and caring beacon of light.

Those who operate from fine inner values and service to others seem to experience life in a keener, more fulfilling way, and for our world to evolve and transform to a more loving and caring, kind and respectful place, we need many more to join the re-volution to Love, and develop their ‘LQ’ – the IQ of Love in Leadership.

Come and find out more at our
Power of Love event

Just Love

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“Let’s restore robust, respectful and decent debate”

Anna Soubry, UK MP for Broxtowe, Nottinghamshire. Leader of The Independent Group for Change via Twitter 20th October 2019.

‘Love’ and ‘Brexit’.
Not two words we normally see juxtaposed.

There’s not a lot of love between the sides on the ongoing Brexit divide in the UK. Scenes in Parliament, which often has a somewhat puerile and combative atmosphere, indicate lack of respect for the other, if they hold different views. Those in positions of leadership, who really should know better, seem to disregard all arguments which don’t support their own views and desires, and to ride roughshod over valid concerns and disadvantages. Listening seems to be a lost art.

It’s a divisive, disruptive and distressing scenario. After 3 and a half years, there are still few real clues or, what would be far better, clear facts, about the consequences of Brexit. One side seems to care little for the financial costs which will affect and disadvantage the majority of the people, reduce their ability to earn, learn, travel, be supported when necessary. They don’t think an economic impact analysis is important, and only seem to want to power ahead for reasons of regaining some kind of ‘sovereignty’ which was never ceded in the first place. Yes, some EU rules might appear irksome, but most of us have benefited is some way from greater protection and improved rights, with freedoms which we now take for granted.

The other side, vilified as ‘remoaners’, bad losers and traitors, see the benefits of being part of the EU, valuing their European citizenship and the sense of unity and belonging. They recognize the peace which has held for so many years, the freedom of movement, the grants and funds from organizations such as Erasmus which may be at risk if a no-deal or hard deal Brexit occurs.

Everyone has their reasons, their right to hold their opinions and, yes, the Referendum in 2016 gave a (surprise) narrow margin of majority to the Leave camp. But since then, there has been so little real factual evidence of the benefits, and much of that which was claimed as beneficial has been proven to be false and partly fantasy. Emerging facts and predictions indicate a less than rosy picture for the majority of UK citizens, European residents of the UK , or UK residents of European states.

From a non-political perspective, it just seems a mess. A mess which is creating division and dissension, not just for politicians, but for the people. There is strong feeling on both sides, yet many have changed their views and are no longer in favour of Leave. Witness the gathering of large numbers in London for the People’s Vote contingency – Metropolitan police estimated around 1 million, German TV with some fancy technology for crowd measurement says 2.2 million – peaceful, allied to an aim and intention, a community in unity.

They do it for love of their country, their freedoms, their family, for themselves – because they do love in that way of greatness and determination and desire for justice – it’s Love on an altruistic plane, an Agape kind of Love – universal, collective and transcending circumstance. The people can express this in their multitudes.

Those politicians with a classical education would do well to look back and embrace the greater meanings of love beyond self-love – overweening ‘philautia’ – and display some humility, respect and decency.

Then maybe a robust debate, as Anna Soubry says, which allows genuine expressions in decent and respectful ways, so that resolutions are allowed to emerge can take place.
It needs tough Love and tolerance, not tantrums; vision and values not vitriol, and it is, with persistence and patience, possible.
Let this be the will of the people.

How Courageous Leaders Build Strong Organisations

Discover Your ‘LQ’ – the ‘IQ’ of Love at Work

Exploring Success

What Does Success Mean to You?

Could it be having more of something, being better at something or doing a great deed?